Why I Hate The Movies

I went to see a movie last night, and realized why I hate the movies. Not the actual movie itself, or film in general, because I love both of them. But the movie theater has some of the worst qualities in the world. And it wasn't even the cleanliness of the theater (it is brand new and very nice) or the price (ok, I don't like paying 8 bucks a pop, but I'll do it).

Top 3 reasons why I hate the movies:

1) Feet.

I'm 5'11", which is not really short or really tall, but merely average. However, I do not like to sit extremely upright, for I'm a sloucher. So I put my feet up on the chair in front of me. But I hate the movies because no matter how many open seats around me, some bald headed popcorn chewer has to sit right in front of me, taking my foot space.

2) Women.

Now, I'm not sexist. This is merely referring to last night's movie. While sitting in my chair, a group of three older ladies came by and sat next to me and my wife. No buffer seat. They then proceeded to talk throughout the ENTIRE movie. Not anything important, just repeating what was just said, commented loudly on Sandra Bullock, etc. Now, I can take some quiet whispers, but these ladies were shouting over the movie to make the most pointless comments in the history of the world. I had to pull a "I have a phone call that I have to take" and walk out, so I could come back in and sit on the other side of Rachel.

3) Parents.

Let me tell you of an occasion that I have been a witness to some of the worst parenting ever. Yesterday, I went to a movie that was rated PG-13, and for the most part was not too inappropriate for kids. A few months ago, however, I watched a family of 5 (2 adults, 3 kids under the age of 8) walk in and sit down to watch the new Rambo movie, which by the way, was all about the killing of kids and the killing of men. That movie set the record for most on screen kills ever in a movie. WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU BRING A CHILD TO SEE IT? I had to sit through a movie listening to "Mommy, why is he killing that man?" Not enjoyable.

I'm done. I realize I'm complaining (I like to call it blogging) so I'll stop. But I say all this to say:

You can't beat Redbox. A dollar a movie, just me and my wife, in the comforts of our home and no annoying people ruining the movie for me.

Thanks for reading. You stay classy, Planet Earth.